Live a Great Story

October 13, 2015 by

635695050015389976-1205142947_letter-to-meIn the car this morning I was struck by four words on a poster along the road that simply said: “Live a Great Story.” It stuck with me as I drove, thinking what an insightful reminder, to own the story and remember that we each have one that unfolds every day.

Our stories have key characters, plot lines and backdrops. Some of us are in the first act, with many unknowns as we are getting launched. While others are in later acts, when more is revealed and some story lines have to be cut or rewrites happen, when we create and refine to build momentum and change the story at some mid-point.

Joseph Campbell calls this A Hero’s Journey and he wrote extensively about what he called the Five Act Structure: Exposition, Rising Action, Climax, Falling Action and finally, the Denouement or Resolution. If we are lucky, we can experience several such journeys in one lifetime, being bold enough to start out in unknown territory, to answer the call to adventure, meeting challenges along the way—all the while learning and growing and becoming stronger and more certain of who we are and what we are made of. That’s part of the beauty of growing wiser in our years here on earth, as we realize how precious this one life is and if we live it fully, it can be enough.

There is this great exercise I have done before that really drills down to the essence of what we each want our lives to look and feel like when we are much older and on the downhill ride:

  1. Spend some time alone, maybe take a long walk or meditate and then think about your life up to now—the ages and stages that have defined you.
  2. Then pull out a piece of paper and begin writing yourself a letter today, but from your 80 year self. What would this wise person say to you? Is there an overriding theme you see emerging? What do you imagine you will know then that you don’t know now? How many new experiences will you have had to live before amassing the wisdom you hope for at 80? (Note: Be mindful not to judge or criticize. This exercise is meant to show loving kindness and compassion to allow you to impart wisdom from a deep place that is always there.)
  3. Tuck this letter away and make it a point to re-read annually, on a day that offers you significance

Life is a series of choices. In essence, these choices present our priorities and if we are honest and live authentically, we will have congruence in our words and deeds. I am feeling my inner 80-year old coming out right now, ready to write that letter!

 

 

Filed Under: Fourishing, Life Chapters, your life story Tagged With: , , , , ,

Retirement Planning 101: Living a Leisurely Lifestyle

April 7, 2015 by

slider6“We are at our very best, and we are happiest,

when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy,

on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves.

It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep.

It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile.”

                                                                                       ~Earl Nightingale

This quote describes the idea of contrasts and why it’s important to have engagement, be it in work life or in retirement. Living a leisurely lifestyle is very different than living a life of leisure, where retirement is not about substance and instead is either rest or play. Sure, at first when people retire they often answer the question about what they are going to do next, with this simple response, “As little as possible.”

The art of doing nothing can be wonderful at first. Just being and not doing is good for the soul and it is a natural early phase related to retirement. It can last a few weeks, a few months and for some, this life of leisure never ends.

However, for most in the Baby Boomer generation, the paradigm is shifting.   Purpose and meaning, a reason to jump out of bed in the morning, has become an expectation in retirement. I know a retiree who comes to my son’s high school baseball field to barbeque hot dogs and hamburgers every home game.   We all look forward to seeing him as he engages with parents and players over barbeque and baseball. He tells me his wife is involved with rescue dogs and this is his thing, and they both couldn’t be happier. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Life Transitions, Retirement Planning Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

“50 is the new 40”

October 13, 2014 by

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“Aging is not lost youth, but a stage of opportunity and strength” ~Betty Friedan

A few months ago I blogged about my views around the idea of “50 being the new 40” and how it bothered me that we, as a culture, were perpetuating this myth, disowning parts of our actual age and the natural benefits we draw from our years of life experience. I still stand behind this viewpoint, but after reading a section from “Passages”, originally published in 1976 by Gail Sheehy, I have a new appreciation for how the idea of pushing back the clock in the last few decades has some merit.

Read along to Sheehy’s words with me and see what you think: “The ‘I should’ of the twenties, which gives way to the “I want” of the thirties, becomes the “I must” of the forties.”  The author ends there, defining the decades, not even giving mention to the 50’s, other than by omission. Interesting exclusion to consider, as culturally in the 1970’s, people in their 50’s may have seemed oldish and well beyond the urgency of the “I musts” reaped from their 40’s. As I read this passage it seemed anachronistic and very much out of step with the way I perceive the battle cry of each decade. [Read more…]

Filed Under: 50 is the new 40, Life Chapters Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

The Transitions and Chapters in the Book of Life

August 2, 2014 by

 

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~Anais Nin

Rows Of Butterfly Cocoons

Before beginning my certification to become a professional and personal coach, I attended an intensive workshop called “Life Launch” at the Hudson Institute.   Here I learned about the continual cycle of life chapters and life transitions and how there are joys and challenges in each and the more dynamic your life is, the more cycles you will experience as you renew, reinvent or reintegrate.

Often coaches meet clients when they are feeling stuck, either disenchanted by the chapter they are in or feeling betwixt and between, uncertain what is next. These are signs that it is time for a change and even if you feel stuck, it is actually a dynamic stage.   There is a knowing that comes after cycling through a few, once you have felt the looming texture of what used to fit and no longer does; the idea that going through the motions isn’t enough to sustain the evolving you.

It can be both scary and exhilarating to leave behind the life you know for a new way of working or being in the world. As Goethe says, “The gods come to the aid of those who are bold.” I remember hearing this quote early on in my life and felt strengthened by it, using Goethe’s words as a muse to help me navigate a brave new world, feeling guided in ways I couldn’t explain. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Life Balance, Life Transitions Tagged With: , , , , , ,