A Metaphor for Living Large: Setting the Bar/Barre

barresoul-196_23In the spirit of the New Year and thinking novelty + fitness, I took my first Barre class today. It was a blast. Lots of core, balance and elegance in the way the class was taught. I didn’t look great doing many of the poses and exercises, but it was a great workout and I will be back next week. I have only taken one other “ballet” class in my life and that was over 50 years ago and remains one of my earliest childhood memories.

Get this: I was four years old and finally convinced my mom to let me try ballet. In my first class I recall looking around at all my peers, you know, three and four year olds, deciding then and there that I was already too old to become a prima ballerina. It seemed all the other girls were much better than me, so in my little mind that meant I couldn’t possibly catch up. I told my mom I didn’t like the class, but deep down I felt too old to start something as serious as ballet! I laugh now, but truth be told, I have felt this “too old” feeling at various times in my life.

Have you ever had this tape or another “too this or too that”? My version has to do with age and experience. Now that I am in my mid-fifties, this tape has the power to become an even stronger voice if I let it. Instead, I am embracing the approach of engaging in novel experiences with a “Beginner’s Mind.” It takes letting go of old stories and opening up to new and different opportunities. January seems like as good a time as any to embrace this more conscious mindset.

Part of the challenge is being open to invitations that take you out of your comfort zone. For me, it’s about being open for more spontaneity while also planning ahead and calendaring in new activities, like the Barre class. I call it my Both/And Approach. Taking the black and white out of the story allows for a whole lot more fun and lightness.

It’s early in the year to give much of a report, but I will say in the last few weeks I have kayaked the caves of La Jolla, stood on an ocean pier to watch the King Tides show their majestic power with 10 foot waves crashing around us and taken a half day off to go play in snow at the mountains —Trust me, snow is a novelty for Southern California and if you miss it, it’s melted and gone. That’s how opportunities are at four or fifty four—you have to take advantage or lose out.

Feeling Stuck or Getting Back on that Bike as a Metaphor for Life

determination “Life is like a bicycle:  you don’t fall off unless you stop pedaling.”~Claude Pepper

I was in a funk this morning and rather than look at my “to-do” list one more time and feel overwhelmed and distracted, I decided to take a break and go for a bike ride.

I hadn’t been on this particular hilly, strenuous ride in months, so that alone elevated my mood. Although I must confess as I was leaving I had the desire to be done already with the ride, to just feel good but not have to sweat it out and climb all those hills. I actually coached myself by saying aloud: “You can’t feel good until you do the work. So just start peddling.” It felt like a Nike moment.

And with that pep talk, I was off.

About ¾ into the ride I was feeling the hard work in my calves, yet my brain was in flow, open to problem solving and creative strategies that likely wouldn’t have happened sitting in my office. I felt stronger and engaged and ready to get back to reinvent my day. When I took that final decent into my driveway I was energized and grateful that I had pushed myself to get to the other side.

Getting to the other side of a goal or moving intentionally through a life transition is a lot of work. It takes grit, focus and emotional energy that can be both exhausting and exhilarating. Sometimes, like this morning, I just wanted to feel the exhilaration without the exhaustion. But we all know it doesn’t work that way.

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Why Gentleness is a Pillar of Self-Mastery

 

“We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey.” ~George Leonard

The Closed Cafe

I was in a yoga class this week and the teacher suggested that to be able to personally master your life it is important to learn how to be more gentle with yourself.  That resonated with me, as a self-described achiever.  I equate drive and grit with productivity and high performance.  But there is a pendulum that swings and being too far in one direction or another can create imbalance.

So how does it look for you, as you consider gentleness and choices you make in your everyday life?   Where do you fall on that pendulum?  Do you know people who seem to have the natural ability to know when to push and when to back off?   Are you one of those people?  If not, how do you learn to discern and find this balance and trust?  This, to me, is at the heart of personal mastery as we learn and unlearn what got us to where we are now, knowing instinctively that some of our ways are no longer useful and need to be shed to make room for new (sometimes more gentle and less aggressive) choices that are a better fit. [Read more…]